Lies of an Identity

Lies

It was almost winter, the chill in the air and the gold-dusted leaves on the ground were proof enough for the coming change in the season. An adolescent shuddered slightly as he stepped out of the car, clad in his school uniform and a black scarf which was wrapped loosely around his pale neck. Without a word he walked across the school grounds, surrounded by countless of others who were also drugged by the inevitable tiredness that came with every morning. He strode past the large dining hall and numerous classrooms-some empty, some not – before arriving at his destination. The room was almost empty, albeit for a girl who sat in the corner, looking out of the window onto the large garden below.  

He gazed at her for a second before placing his satchel down next to his seat. Hearing the noise he had created, the girl turned around slowly, a smile appearing on her usually solemn features. “Hello,” she said carefully for they were not supposed to know each other, being from completely different social circles, as puerile as it sounded.

He smiled back warmly, deciding to take the chance as there was no one else in the class room. “Good morning,” he said, sitting down. Both of them knew that they would have to be ever-so-careful now, for they were not in the privacy of their estates. It was a game they played, a game full of lies and deceit – but a fun game, none the less.

“Ah, well, there’s nothing good about it,” she replied, turning her attention back to the view from the window.

He feigned annoyance at her shift of focus. “Is the view really more important than me?” From where he sat he could see her smile, but she said nothing in reply.

The door was suddenly flung open and the two, out of fear that they might have been discovered, attempted to look completely distracted with something else. The boy at the door said nothing of that sort, however, and plodded in, completely unaware of what was going around him. Jason stole a last glance at Amanda before turning away hastily to address his sleepy friend. “Hello – had enough to drink?”

His friend looked up, an irritated look on his face. “Mention that word again and I shall clobber you,” he said, his posh accent still intact despite his drunken appearance. “And by the way I have not drunk in the past twenty four hours, so throw that thought out of the window immediately,”

“Right,” Jason muttered.

“So where were you last night? You missed the end of the party,” his friend said, sitting up and yawning.

Jason suddenly stopped rummaging through his satchel, his features coming into a deep frown. “Ah, I wasn’t feeling too well-,” he lied through his teeth, starting to rummage again. “Stomach ache, I think.”

His friend stirred slightly from his position flat across his desk and looked at Jason pointedly. “Oh, really?”

Jason bit his lip and dug deeper within his satchel, blindly trying to find something. “What’s with that tone?” he asked, avoiding his friend’s gaze.
“Well, I think I saw you go off with some girl,”

The rummaging stopped briefly as Jason allowed himself a sigh of relief, pulling his pen case out of his bag as he did so. “Alright – I give in. You caught me out – I left with some girl,” Jason said, chuckling at the opening out of explaining his actions his friend had unconsciously given him.

“Who was it?”

Jason gently lay down his case on his desk, stalling for some time before answering. He had his reasons, for a simple slip up could cause his carefully built up persona to diminish right before his eyes – and that would be the end of the game. “Some girl from Mercury High, I think.” He finally said, sweeping his long fringe out of his eyes and giving his friend a steady albeit unreadable gaze. “Not that I remember her name or anything. Only that she had a pair of…big bonkers, shall I say?”

His friend laughed, and shook his head. “Talk about being a player Jay, though you’ve still to catch up with me. Wait until I tell the others!” Jason only smirked in response.

Across the room, in that little corner, someone’s gaze darkened.

----

Jason Moretti’s social personality was built on almost nothing that actually existed within him. Amongst his friends he was loud, outspoken, an athlete and a rock fanatic. He was someone everyone could like, the epitome of the perfect suitor for girls, the embodiment of the perfect friend for guys. However, people made a lot of assumptions about him; that he had had a lot of girlfriends, that he loved sport and that his life was perfect – and he decided to do nothing to contradict their words for he found it too troublesome to try and correct them. His lies, therefore, started out as unintentional acts of laziness.

Later, however, after he had grown used to this assumed persona that the others had forced upon him, Jason kept most of himself locked away, even until his sense of individuality wavered thin. There were times when he struggled to remember what he truly liked and disliked, his preferences and his distastes, but despite all of this he still ploughed on with his façade - to him it was a game of sorts, a game only he and one other were privy to.



Jason smiled slowly. A gentle melody came to his fingertips as he ran them across the black and white keys of his grand piano, filling the room with a sense of tranquility. His serene features that were accompanied with the amiable tune painted the perfect picture of a sensitive and empathic young man.

There was a loud knock on the door and suddenly, like a tidal wave, his delicate fingers came crashing down on the piano. “What is it?” he snapped, far from being the persona he played at school.

“That’s a nice way to say hello,” a sarcastic voice came as the door opened slightly to reveal a feminine figure standing by the doorway, a small smirk on her face.

Jason let his eyes sweep across her irritably as she walked in slowly, lowering herself into the luxurious sofa across the room. “You’re early,” he remarked, looking at the large grandfather clock. He watched her pour a cup of tea for herself.

“This room is so empty,” the girl said, leisurely sipping her tea and glancing around the room, completely ignoring Jason’s question. It irked him, to be ignored. He wasn’t used to that sort of treatment.

He slid onto the sofa next to her, a frown slashing across his face. “Well, its main purpose isn’t exactly to entertain guests,”

She put her teacup down on the coffee table gently before turning to face him, a searching look on her face. “You should take those glasses off. They make you seem too...thoughtful,” she remarked, after a while.

He reached up to his Armani styled glasses, a wry look on his face. There was nothing wrong with his eyesight - the simple purpose of these frames was to make him look different. He likened it to an acting prop – something that just made it easier for him to slip into character. “You know they serve a purpose. Besides, I am thoughtful. Just not around you,” he poured himself some tea, watching the steam rise up from the spout ceremoniously. “Speaking about glasses, where are yours? Without them, I almost didn’t recognize you.”

“Well, Mother thinks I look horrible in them. I mean, I know I look horrible in them, but they’re there for a purpose. Anyway, Mother made me wear contacts,” she crossed her legs, “And this horrendous dress.” Jason stole a glance at her periwinkle gown; which, to him looked fine. He decided not to say anything about it, preferring to look completely engrossed in drinking his tea. “And everything else I’m wearing,”

“Are you parents early for too?” he asked, attempting to shut her up.

“No.” She sighed, “I got bored at home. Mother and Anastasia keep saying they look too fat in all their dresses and Papa’s deciding on which car and -,”

He gave her a scathing look. “Okay, I get the point,” he glanced at the clock again. “You’re two hours early for the ball, Amanda.”

“Yes, I know that.” She muttered, rolling her eyes and picking up her cup.

He crossed his arms, “If someone was to arrive here right now, it would be kind of obvious that we know each other well,”

She scowled. “Well, no one’s here right now – well, except for your maids and staff,”

“I’m saying hypothetically,” he gave her a cold glare. “We’re not supposed to know each other properly. I’m sure you’re aware of that part of the game,”

“Are you saying that I can’t visit you anymore?” she snapped, putting her cup down a little more violently than before. It rattled around the saucer, sounding as if it was about to shatter in a million pieces. He didn’t even flinch.

“I never said that,”

“You implied it. That’s the same,”

“Perhaps – but you know the reason,” His features were unreadable; his eyes betrayed none of his emotions, as did his voice. They never did, be he the perfect host or the most unlikable thing in the world. It was something he now unconsciously did, after years of pretending and forcing his true emotions down. If it was a good thing or bad, he truly didn’t know - it was just something he found convenient.

Her hands tightened into fists as she turned away from his indecipherable gaze, her lips pressed together to form one thin line. “We’re not always at school. This isn’t school,”

“I’m well aware of that.” He said dryly. “But The Game requires us to -,”

“The Game,” she snapped, turning around sharply, her eyes blazing. “The Game! The Game! It’s always about The Game nowadays. That’s all I hear from you! - The game is supposed to be a lie of our lives Jason. We’re not supposed to make it the truth,” he could see her tears starting to brim up, but doubted that she was aware of it. The sight of her tears, however, cut a deep wound in him. He fought hard to ignore it, as he did to most of his emotions, struggling to keep that mask of composure he had from slipping away.

“You’re acting like a child,” he said dismissively with a flick of his hand.

“Oh, shut up,” she said, closing her eyes. “At least I’m better than you,”

“Most people wouldn’t agree to that,” he informed her matter-of-factly. The lack of emotion in his voice seemed to affect her even more.

She sent him a glare through her tears. “Most people don’t know the true you,”

Slightly amused at her reaction, Jason smirked. “Well, most people don’t have to.” He turned his attention away from the girl, for every tear that had poured out from her eyes had left a mark on his conscience, building up to form something like…guilt? No, no. Still, he turned away silently, opting for the less guilt enticing view of the weather outside. It was raining.

“You know you’re lucky.” He said, still staring outside. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her head lift up slightly in his direction. “My Grandmother is, obviously, still out. You know how she feels about you,”

“I don’t think your Grandmother would recognize me like this, Jason.” She said monotonously. He frowned, she usually responded with more vigor, angry with him or not.

“Well, no. Of course not.” He couldn’t help but steal a side glance at the girl who was currently resting her chin in her hands, her face slightly obscured by long strands that had strayed out of place from her perfectly coiffed hair. There was a strained silence between the two - something that, admittedly, happened often due to the clash in their personalities.

“Hey, Jason?” Amanda said finally, though it was barely a whisper. Jason whipped his head around. She was still facing away from him, her bottom lip caught under her teeth in uneasiness, something that Jason had become accustomed to throughout their long friendship.

“Mm?”

“I want out.”

“What?” He said hoarsely, unable to hide his surprise.

She slowly raised her head to meet his penetrating gaze, wiping away at her tear stained face. “You heard me right. I want out,”

“Why? Are you scared or something?” He smirked, resting his chin in his right hand.

“No.” she muttered, smoothing the wrinkles in her dress.

“Then?”

“Because,”

He could see that she was becoming very agitated; her hands were forming tight fists and she was biting her bottom lip, but still he pressed on. “Because what?”

“Just because! – What the fuck is wrong with you?” she finally lashed out, looking as if she was about to burst into tears all over again. “Why do you have to always question my intentions? I don’t have to tell you!”

He dismissed her words coldly, with a flick of his arm. “If they concern me, then I think you do.”

“Like I said, Jason. I want out –out of The Game, out of this stupid lie,”

“Like I said Amanda, I want to know why.”

She gave him a long, cool stare obviously trying her hardest not to cry all over again. “I just don’t like pretending not to know people I do know. And I don’t like how you ignore me, like I don’t exist. It’s rather demeaning.” She said as dignifiedly as she could, her chin tilted slightly up.

“Well,” Jason said, his eyebrow raised, “The reason why I’m doing it is because it gives me benefits,”

“Benefits not knowing me?” Amanda said incredulously.

“That’s not what I said,”

“That’s what you implied,” her eyes flashed dangerously.

He pretended not to notice, knowing his frosty demeanor would infuriate her even more. “We’re just going around in circles, Amanda.”

“All I’m saying is,” she paused, standing up and pushing a lock of her hair behind her ear before continuing. “Is that I’m just going to talk to you like before, regardless of where we are, or who we’re with. You can choose to ignore me or whatever and play pretend by yourself, but I’m pulling myself out of this web before I get stuck in it forever,”

He let out a slow, mocking chuckle, shaking his head as if he pitied her. “Those are smart words for someone like you,” he said, smirking and looking up at her. “Go ahead and do that. You know you’ll never truly escape. Look at yourself – your punk rock image you had before is completely gone. Stop lying to yourself,”
“Lying to myself? You’re insane,” she smiled, though there was a cold feeling in her eyes. He smiled back with an insincerity an idiot could have seen through, standing up and running a hand through his dark hair arrogantly.

“We’ll see, Miss Mendez.”

“Touché, Mr. Morreti.” She stood on tip-toe and pecked him on the check, causing him to freeze in shock. “Well, if you’d excuse me – I’ll be seeing you at the ball - as an old acquaintance and not someone you’re ‘not supposed to know’.” She said, smiling maliciously.

“Ah – that’ll only work if two play at that,” He said wryly, watching her leave.

“Then…I’ll just have to find a way of making you play, won’t I?” she exited with a sarcastic laugh, leaving behind one very confused little liar.



~ End ~